Assalamualaikum,
I was go through this a bit long article and worth reading.
Note to self.
as this world, soon we have to leave it.
haha, kali ni come back dgn entry English version.
Happy reading. sesuai untuk semua lapisan masyarakat.
terutama Remaja, belia. Yang hati dan fikirannya masih bercabang-cabang.
____________
Tears kept flowing from her eyes. She was shattered. She
could not believe history was repeating itself for her. I mean it's one thing
to go through a heart break once, but to experience it for the tenth time...?
Unbelieveable!
Gradually her tears stopped. The pain subsided. But only to
be replaced by anger. Suddenly, she was furious. Furious at herself, for
allowing this to happen to her again. Furious at the world for breaking her
once more. And furious even at the decree...why did not God help her? But with
this thought, she felt guilty and contaminated. Putting aside all the ugly
thoughts, she did the only thing she could think of in the midst of all the suffocating
heartache: she cried and she prayed to Allah.
She decided she was going to get her lost love back. She was
going to pray and pray. But at the same time, she knew something was wrong. I
mean when:
*Allah makes you go through the same kind of trials again
and again, there must be a lesson He wants you to master.*
And this was like the tenth time or so she had become so
close to someone. This is a type of a relationship when at first two people
like each other. Then the friendship grows. And then, you don't realize when,
but soon it grows into obsession. And you no longer can live without that
person. You want to spend each second with him/her. And anyone who does not let
you is immediately seen as a hindrance, a rival. Envy grows. And you can do anything
and every thing for your beloved. Every second spent apart is agony. And this
is no exaggeration! You even forget to keep in mind the Islamic limits when
this beloved comes around; all you can literally see is this one person and
his/her benefits! Your happiness and sadness becomes tied with this person and
revolves around him/her. It's dependant like in a math equation. This beloved
says something, you do it. In short, literally, this beloved becomes your new
'ilaah'!
She was not experiencing this for the first time. She had
done this before. Many times. And each time as promising as the relationship
looked, it always ended up collapsing. Like a snow man; no matter how much you
try to beautify it, it melts in the end. It always melts...
She knew all these years, she had been over using her mind.
No wonder her brain was numb now. She was so drained, she felt quite
emotionless. Comfortably numb.
She did not know where she did wrong each time? She always
gave it her all; she would be selfless, loving, caring, honest and would
sacrifice. So why could she never make the love stay?
But then maybe she knew all along what was wrong. Don't they
say you are born on this 'natural disposition' (fitrah) and so you just know
when you devaite from living la ilaha ilaaAllah? She had to do a deep analysis
of her life; she could not handle to let the history repeat again. She just
could not. She was sure something had been done wrong by her, time and again -
she just did not know what - yet. But she planned to find out. She was going to
change.
*Because sometimes Allah removes people from our lives for a
reason. And we need to think about it before we go running after them.*
*Months later* -
She now knew where she had been wrong all along. She now
knew why she had to suffer one loss after another of loved ones. She was hurt
but now there was another pain in her heart, more overwhelming than any other:
she had wasted her entire life going against the very purpose of her existence.
She had not been living la ilaha illaAllah, she had spent her love, her
emotions, feelings, her heart - all in the very wrong places. This love did not
belong there and that is why it never reciprocated.
*Because the moment we love *anything* more than our creator,
that very thing we love more will become the cause of our greatest pain.*
But she had a positive side to it as well. Despite all the
wasted years, she had learned something. Something productive. She won't be
forgetting it anytime soon. She now knew:
*that one does not need to be heartless; you just need to
use your heart less.*
She was now ready to embrace the solution which she had been
running away from all along. The solution of 'letting go'. Instead of holding
on. As painful as it does sound, sometimes it becomes the only way out. But
many are too coward to admit it, even to themselves and they keep on holding on
with so much strength that it hurts - all the while they ignore the answer in
front of them; JUST LET GO.
Sometimes because the picture we've made into our minds of
what will happen if it does work & we don't have to let go is so vivid,
so beautiful that in order for it to be true, we just don't want to look at any
other scenario. But we fail to realize that reality is real than our fantasy
and we live in this reality, so there's no good in making a fantasy bubble hiding in it. Because when that bubble would explode, the only one
going to be hurt is you.
Or because we keep on telling ourselves 'One more time, it
might just work', although there's nothing really left there to work on. As
much as it might hurt, there's no point in hanging on when there's nothing
left...
There's sometimes no point in thinking about the past
memories. 'What once was' is not anymore. It's gone. Once what was beautiful
has now gone and is now ugly. Accept that despite the heartache because the
other option is dwelling in a non-existant painful world. Once you do walk
away, you set yourself free from a lot of invisible chains which were otherwise
binding you. You see a new world to which you were blind before. When Allah has
promised to come to us running when we go to Him walking, who wants who more? I
mean it's like:
*if the full moon loves you, why worry about the stars?*
Allaah has placed in everyone that He has created, a heart
which must be filled; either with enslavement to Allaah, or to other than
Allaah. Every single heart has feelings, desires and inclinations. The question
is: will those feelings, desires and inclinations be directed to and for Allaah
alone, or will they be directed to other than Allaah!
*Because Shirk occurs when we humans love, trust or fear the
creation more than the Creator. *
* Never love someone too much because that too much can hurt
you so much.*
If being ‘in love’ means our lives are in pieces and we are
completely broken, miserable, utterly consumed, hardly able to function, and
willing to sacrifice everything, chances are it’s not love. Despite what we are
taught in popular culture, true love is not supposed to make us like drug
addicts.
Your all love should be and is for Allah alone. It was
always meant to be for Him alone. He will never let you down. He will take care
of you and your feelings.
Please understand this before it's too late, before your
heart breaks in the most painful manner: love your Creator because these
humans? They don't know how to be loyal and how to love back.
The humans don't have it in them. The amount of love, the
intensity, the level of attachment, the quality of care, the hours that you
crave from these humans, they can never fulfill your demand. They will get
tired of you.
You see, you were created to love Allah. With as much
intensity as you want. How could you ever let yourself believe some human could
give you that love?
By creating you as His slave, He created you free.
Completely free. You had freedom; freedom from fears, heartaches, rejection
from the creation, dependence on humans, begging them for love and care...
By turning away from this gift of freedom, you enslaved
yourself. You entered into this prison of desires, pain, fear, hope and trust
in the humans, by choice.
In just being a slave of Allah, you have freedom and
security. In being a slave of every creation, there is fear of loss and
restlessness.
Remember bearing witness to la ilaha illAllah has two parts:
A negation first. Then an affirmation.
First you say and believe la ilaha. By doing so, you free
your heart of every enslavement.
Then you affirm: illAllah. Now you are a slave of Him alone.You
were born free. Don't die a prisoner..
So don't even think that by loving someone that crazily, by
that amount of infatuation & obsession, you'll get what you want. No,
it won't ever work out. You'll have to return bruised, hurt, broken, in pain and
disappointed. Besides, you'll lose that loved one. So don't even try to
try...what's the point?
No matter how much you love that person, he won't return
back tht much love. Love Allah, only He will take care of you.
* Because we'll suffer every time we lose sight of this
simple truth: we were born to love Allah. *
So after all, is not Jannah *the* place? That place where
you can really have all you could possibly ever desire? Where there exists
happiness ever after, for real. We all want ever lasting happiness, we just
become foolish enough to look for it on the wrong side of death.
In complete silence, sitting alone at night, she thought.
Once again, she thought. Going through her past, she once again felt the
silent, crushing pain of her mistakes. Soon, it took over her already aching
heart and the pain became agony.
Images of her past flasing before her eyes, her mind
whirled. She closed her eyes. And two simple, transparent tears dropped down
her cheeks; the only quiet reflection of her broken soul.
But she wipes away those tears. And tightened the scarf
around her. She was going to walk away from all the shirk and infatutaion. She
was going to live for Her Creator, Who had given her another chance.
She locked the door and began to walk in the silent, cold
night. With each step she was leaving behind her wasted past. She was doing it
for Allah. She was walking away.
*Because your peace of mind and stillness of
heart must be based on your relationship with God, and not the world or anyone
or anything in it. If you are right with God, you are right.*